Monday, April 14, 2008

Kanashibari

I know that kanashibari is a medical condition, not a religion. But how I came to find out about kanashibari is through the church that I attend in Kyotanabe, hence, I'd like to do my post on religion about the information as it was told to me at my church.

Two pieces of background information. First, I occasionally attend a bilingual church in Kyotanabe, along with a few other Kansai Gaidai students, both International and Japanese. I have been attending off and on since November and we have two hours after the message to talk to each other about anything and everything. During the course of conversation, we drifted to kanashibari, and to former and current members of the church who had experienced kanashibari.

Secondly, kanashibari is the Japanese word for a medical condition called "Sleep Paralysis." Kanashibari can also mean “night-terrors” but the discussion I had with members of my church on kanashibari sounds much closer to sleep paralysis. What happens in sleep paralysis is quite simple: you wake up and though your mind is conscious, you simply cannot move your body. This is not lucid dreaming (where you are aware that you are in fact dreaming DURING a dream) because sleep paralysis does not happen while the mind is asleep.

Now how does this tie into religion? As you probably already know, the percentage of Japanese who claim to be Christians is in the one-digits. The predominant religions in Japan are Shinto and Buddhism, followed by other “new religions,” while Christianity enjoys even fewer proclaimed practitioners. The church I attend is small and the building is never completely full (though we came rather close to filling the sanctuary on Easter Sunday, but that’s to be expected). And yet, repeatedly, someone who experiences kanashibari will come to the Kyoto International Chapel, talk with a pastor, convert to Christianity, and never have the problem again.

It’s such a frequent phenomenon in converts at Kyoto International Chapel that they have even created a manga about it, containing two testimonies of people who suffered from kanashibari and were cured upon conversion. The manga is short, sweet, and simple and is published in both Japanese and English. I have since given my Japanese copy away but the pastor is currently searching for the English copies so that I can post photos here.

The story, as explained to me in English (since my Japanese is not the most fantastic in the world), goes something like this. The individual (both testimonies in the pamphlet-manga are female) will begin experiencing kanashibari and the reoccurring feeling is that they are being held down, like something invisible is crushing them and keeping them from moving or even blinking their eyes. They try to solve it in the traditional Japanese way (go to a shrine or a temple), but that does not work. Eventually, in a completely unrelated event, a friend will invite the afflicted individual to Kyoto International Church. They will come and eventually they will talk to the pastor and convert to Christianity. They will also tell the pastor about their experiences of kanashibari and, after praying about it with the pastor and converting, the experiences will never happen again.

Just thought it would be interesting to share. I was surprised by how many members of the church experienced this. I’ve never heard of anything like this before. (photos as soon as I have them)

20 comments:

visual gonthros said...

Interesting topic. Looking forward to the photos.

I first learned about kanashibari in a Japanese Religion class. It seems to be very common in Japan. But I have heard it associated with the devil by Christians in America. Others have described it as one's soul leaving the body for an astral trip of sorts. Still others postulate it as alien abduction.

I myself have experienced it once in Japan. This was several years ago. It was both a terrifying and fascinating experience. I wanted it to happen again but I also wanted to have a little more control over the situation. The following evening I went to bed with a Tenrikyo omamori. But no more kanashibari.

It would would be interesting to hear others' stories and experiences with this subject.

Is-ness said...

Actually, that's what I was talking to Kenny-sensei about (I figure if anyone here would know about it, she would) and she said that it happens in Laos as well as Japan. I've also heard of it happening in China. The difference really is that in these places, Kanashibari implies that there's a sense of something being above you and holding you down. Sleep paralysis (or what I've read about it) doesn't really imply that at all. That's what I found so fascinating about it.

Yes, Christianity does associate that with demons (who, in turn, are associated with the devil so...), particularly if there's a sense that something's holding you down. I've never heard of it being thought of as alien abduction though... Interesting.

What was the significance of going to sleep with a tenrikyo omamori? Was that in hopes of more control, or in hopes of invoking the kanashibari?

visual gonthros said...

It was for the control factor - but it worked too well and warded the tension/spirits/demons/aliens away...

Is-ness said...

And you haven't experienced it since? I personally wouldn't want to experience it--sounds frightening. But the more I mention it to my japanese friends, the more I hear stories. It's almost like most people here have either experienced kanashibari themselves or know of someone who has experienced it. I'd really like to research it more since I feel like I know so very little.

Alana X said...

I experience kanashibari quite often.It is terrifying and can make you panic as you don’t know when you’re going to come out of it! In my opinion though, it is nothing to do with religion (although I did feel it was before I became a spiritualist) best way I’ve found of dealing with it is not sleeping on your back (or mediating for too long!!!)

AL said...

This same exact thing happened to me this morning. I was suddenly woken up from a pleasent dream in which i remember clearly to find myself in my bedroom. i felt kind of half asleep and started to panic when i found i couldnt move. Soon after i heard heavy rapid breathing and thought my dad was in the room not being able to move my head i couldnt check. moments later i was positive it wasnt my dad, because a pair of legs wearing torn cloth pants was right in my face i couldnt look upto see a face for i was paralyzed i tried to scream but my lungs were frozen. i laid frozen not by fear (i felt more confused), but by an unknown force it felt like i was being constricted like my entire body was numb. The presence began to feel evil. i soon was able to yell as my lungs became unfrozen after yelling i immeditely really came to my seneses and felt a hundred percent awake. what ever was in the room was gone. I wouldnt be so concerened if my frozen body wasnt positioned to see what was on tv because when i was a 100% awake the same lady was speaking on 7he news.

im more curious then creeped out. was it my panic attack that caused this halucination to enter my perception of reality, physical life or have i been given evidence that has totally changed my mind on being an atheist.

more clues plz

i remeber situtations like happening when i was younger but not this intense.

Is-ness said...

Just to clarify, I am no scientist and I study kanashibari and sleep paralysis from a purely anthropological view, which means while I am interested in what causes it, I am much more interested in what people think of it and do about it. So whatever conclusion you come to about why this happened and what you do to try and stop it from happening again (or even what you try to get it to happen again) would be interesting to hear.

But here's what www.standford.edu, who have been studying it from a scientific point of view, has to say on the subject:

"Sleep paralysis is most often associated with narcolepsy, a neurological condition in which the person has uncontrollable naps. However, there are many people who experience sleep paralysis without having signs of narcolepsy. Sometimes it runs in families. There is no known explanation why some people experience this paralysis. It is not harmful, although most people report feeling very afraid because they do not know what is happening, and within minutes they gradually or abruptly are able to move again; the episode is often terminated by a sound or a touch on the body.

In some cases, when hypnogogic hallucinations are present, people feel that someone is in the room with them, some experience the feeling that someone or something is sitting on their chest and they feel impending death and suffocation. That has been called the “Hag Phenomena” and has been happening to people over the centuries. These things cause people much anxiety and terror, but there is no physical harm."

If you go to their website, at the bottom of the page there are links to several other sites discussing sleep paralysis.

I warn you though, when I last checked, sleep paralysis is still understudied and there isn't a definitive answer on what exactly causes it. The theories range from a glitch in your internal wireings that happens occassionally right as you wake up to out-of-body experiences, alien abduction, and demonic influence. Since there isn't really a cause for sleep paralysis that we can point to with any certainty, you are welcome to believing any of the theories out there.

Personally though, I am a christian and so you can probably guess what I believe about it and why I found it so interesting when those I spoke to in Japan no longer experienced it after they converted to Christianity. But no matter what conclusion you come to about what caused this experience, I would be very interested in hearing about it.

Anonymous said...

Interesting. I just happened upon your post when i googled "kanashibari," and was surprised to see a reference to the sister church of the church I attended in Ikoma. I had two friends in Japan who experienced kanashibari very vividly. One was Japanese; the other, American. The American used to be "visited" by the entity when she was younger, and when she converted to Christianity, the experiences started again. My Japanese friend's story was much more dramatic, and much creepier. Apparently all the women in her family were plagued by the same intense experiences, her sister even claiming that the entity once dragged her out of her bed and tried to push her out the window. As for my friend, in one waking dream, she sat down next to an old woman in a park who suddenly turned around and grabbed my friend by the wrists. My friend opened her eyes in her bedroom and found herself staring right into the face of the old woman, who still gripped her wrists. She clenched her eyes shut again and eventually the woman disappeared. I'm convinced these are spiritual attacks, by demons. The Bible says that "at the name of Jesus EVERY knee must bow." If this happens to you, call out to Jesus and demand the demons release you, in Jesus' name. Incidentally this does not occur only in Japan. The Chinese call the entity a Sitting Ghost because it gives the feeling of something sitting on your chest, pinning you down.

Violet said...

Hi...I'm just a random American Christian dropping by, but I thought I might add my own experiences to the mix...

I've had a whole bunch of sleep paralysis-type attacks the the past six or so years of my life, but they stop if I order whatever it is to leave in Jesus' Name and/or pray in the Spirit. I've found it takes longer for them to leave if I'm afraid; if I stay calm, commanding them to leave works pretty much immediately.
The first time it happened to me, I was simply unable to move, and it terrified me. After that, I realized that I was not going to die, so I stopped being afraid when I simply wake up unable to move. I think the entities responsible took that as a challenge, because later on I started having episodes where I would feel like I was being pinned down in specific areas on my body. The first time it happened that way, the thing had me by the legs and I was terrified all over again. But I realized they couldn't hurt me then, either, so the next thing that happened was that I would feel vividly as though it was interacting with my body--specifically, once I was sure there was a small four-legged creature on my bed, and I kept trying to shove it off and order it off my bed until I finally ordered it out of the room entirely, woke up the rest of the way, and realized a) what I had been sleeping on was not technically a bed in the first place and b) my arm had not been physically moving, it only felt like it was; and the other time, I was suddenly jolted awake with the sensation of my right arm flailing wildly against my will--but although it was very vivid, when I woke up the rest of the way, my real arm was safely under the blankets. Thanks to those experiences, I now think there's something to the concept of an "astral body", or at least a body-shaped spirit.

Depending on where I'm facing when I suddenly wake up, I often see shapeless shadows where I find upon fully awakening that there aren't any shadows; other times I can't tell what I'm seeing; and once I even saw a clear human silhouette upside down on the ceiling. (Then there was one time when I could sense three humanlike beings in my room, and I can even tell you what one of them looked like even though from that angle I could not get a decent look at it. They exuded politeness and seemed to be communicating that they wanted to talk to me about my spiritual views, but I was so angry about being paralyzed that I exorcised them just like any other intruder. I'm not sure how to classify that, since it wasn't predominantly of the physical senses.)

The thing that is of most interest to me about my own experiences, though, is that I seem to have a part in letting them in. The first time it ever happened, I had just downloaded a piece of music that made me feel very funny inside. (I deleted it as soon as possible.) Afterward, I have almost always been able to trace the incidents to a certain frame of mind shortly before falling asleep. I'm not sure quite how to describe that frame of mind, but I guess "wallowing in helplessness" or "surrender" kind of approximates it. In the most recent incidents, I was starting to get frustrated that I couldn't pinpoint that feeling well enough to protect myself from it, but then not long ago, when I began drifting into it before falling asleep, I suddenly felt this bolt of evil energy enter my right arm. I rebuked the heck out of that before falling asleep, and no other unpleasant things happened that night! Woohoo! I think that was a turning point. ^^

I'm sorry for rambling. This stuff is totally unfamiliar to my friends and family, so I don't know who else I might talk about it to. ^_^;

Paul said...

The last couple of days I've been looking for Kanashibari and gladly I stumble into your blog, it has great info on what I'm looking and is going to be quite useful for the paper I'm working on.
BTW is crazy how many generic viagra blogs I manage to dodge in order to get the right site and the right information.
Thanks for the post and have a nice day

Joy said...

I am an American, and I have had sleep paralysis-like experiences maybe 5 times in the last 3 years, and only recently found out what they were, so I'm looking into them.
(I actually found out through a description of incubii on wikipedia, then wound up at the folklore section of the sleep paralysis article.)

I'm hoping to go to Japan soon for work, and I found this post on kanashibari very interesting, especially since I am a Christian and have had these "Hag Ridden" experiences anyway, but it was only when I got so scared that I was praying (nothing so eloquent as Violet, but more like, "God, God, God, help me") that I could finally "wake up."

I haven't really notice the paralysis part, since I freeze up when I'm scared anyway. The common denominator for me is a pulsing, buzzing feeling that gradually gets stronger and makes me unable to breath. For example, in one experience it felt like my bed had turned into the inside of a boa constrictor and was buzzing as it swallowed me from the feet up.

Twice I've felt really strongly that there was a person I couldn't quite see in the room with me. In the most recent, there was a dark figure (it looked like the monster in Aoi Bungaku) that I heard come in the room, talk to me kind of conversationally, and accidentally knock a pencil off my desk onto the floor. Then it picked up the pencil and started stabbing me with it, but it only made the buzzing feeling, like holding a power tool too long.
Since I knew I was dreaming I tried to just wait it out, but the buzzing got too strong and I wound up praying again, though I wasn't completely terrified that time.

Each one of these has happened when I'm overtired and go to sleep late, then semi-wake up an hour later, usually at around 3am. I'm always ranging from very lucid dreaming to sure that I'm awake, and only become convinced I'm dreaming when the hallucinations, especially tactile ones start up, then find that I can't wake up as I usually can in a bad dream.

Sasha said...

i just 15 min ago experienced it..i hate it...especially when my room is dark,this time i could hear my ears pounding or it sounded like large wings flapping..the presence was evil no doubt..im half japanese...i told my mom about it annd she automatically said kanashibari...she used to experience it herself..*sigh...*..'

viet pham said...

The very first time it happened to me was when i was sleeping on the couch downstairs which i dont usually do. Middle of the night i kind of felt a buzzy feeling coming and as it came closer it also got LOUDER! I was terrified didnt know what was happening and why i couldnt move. Pitch black i could only move my eyes left to right. My body felt like cement but thats not the scary part its the chills you get as its happening and you dont know when its gonna end. All i wanted to do was scream MUM and run to her room lol. The worst thing is.. as it was happening i could hear a deep voiced man laughing. Then finally it ended and i did run to my mums room didnt know what to say.. just slept it off hoping it would never happen again.

So that was my first experience. Didnt happen again until few years after when it started getting a lot more frequent sometimes even one after another which is the worst. Just as it ends you're dead tired and cant even keep your eyes open you go to sleep again, terrified, and a moment later you can feel it coming! As it comes i would force myself to WAKE UP but im so drowsy i dont stay awake for long it just keeps happening. Anyway i started getting use to it and it didnt freak me out as much but still pretty damn scary. When i went to vietnam i asked my little cousins & they explained to me its a LOT worse in vietnam? My cousin woke up to a girl strangling him & he didnt get out of it till someone poured water on him O.O

Some people tell me to put a knife your pillow, another trick thats worked was wiggling my toes! It works every time but its still pretty hard.. Only my toes would move but not even an inch though, i'd just keep wiggling them till i break free and my legs start moving. Another friend told me its the position i sleep in :S im not sure cause i never sleep on my back im always hugging something.

Anyway i do belive its something to do with spirits. This might sound stupid i experienced it a few weeks ago but something happened that usually doesnt. I saw the shadow of a face right in front of me. It freaked me out so hard from then on ive been sleeping with my baby brother. And it hasnt happened since. Tonight the first night i didnt sleep with him and funny enough it happened.. so i was in panic and i could just think of running into my mums room. Although i felt like i was already nearly at her room the next thing i knew was slamming my face into the wall beside my bed... no where near my mums room (i think because i dreamt i ran into her room but actually i barely even left the bed) =.= So yeah anyway i think my brother is blessed.. before he started to crawl or walk he could already slide down the stairs and he never hurt himself. My stepdad went to a fortune teller & she says there is a big spirit in our home which protects him . long story short i feel safe sleeping with my baby brother cause it never happens when im with him and that has to be spiritual.. maybe.

vietnamese123 said...

The very first time it happened to me was when i was sleeping on the couch downstairs which i dont usually do. Middle of the night i kind of felt a buzzy feeling coming and as it came closer it also got LOUDER! I was terrified didnt know what was happening and why i couldnt move. Pitch black i could only move my eyes left to right. My body felt like cement but thats not the scary part its the chills you get as its happening and you dont know when its gonna end. All i wanted to do was scream MUM and run to her room lol. The worst thing is.. as it was happening i could hear a deep voiced man laughing. Then finally it ended and i did run to my mums room didnt know what to say.. just slept it off hoping it would never happen again.

So that was my first experience. Didnt happen again until few years after when it started getting a lot more frequent sometimes even one after another which is the worst. Just as it ends you're dead tired and cant even keep your eyes open you go to sleep again, terrified, and a moment later you can feel it coming! As it comes i would force myself to WAKE UP but im so drowsy i dont stay awake for long it just keeps happening. Anyway i started getting use to it and it didnt freak me out as much but still pretty damn scary. When i went to vietnam i asked my little cousins & they explained to me its a LOT worse in vietnam? My cousin woke up to a girl strangling him & he didnt get out of it till someone poured water on him O.O

Some people tell me to put a knife your pillow, another trick thats worked was wiggling my toes! It works every time but its still pretty hard.. Only my toes would move but not even an inch though, i'd just keep wiggling them till i break free and my legs start moving. Another friend told me its the position i sleep in :S im not sure cause i never sleep on my back im always hugging something.

Anyway i do belive its something to do with spirits. This might sound stupid i experienced it a few weeks ago but something happened that usually doesnt. I saw the shadow of a face right in front of me. It freaked me out so hard from then on ive been sleeping with my baby brother. And it hasnt happened since. Tonight the first night i didnt sleep with him and funny enough it happened.. so i was in panic and i could just think of running into my mums room. Although i felt like i was already nearly at her room the next thing i knew was slamming my face into the wall beside my bed... no where near my mums room (i think because i dreamt i ran into her room but actually i barely even left the bed) =.= So yeah anyway i think my brother is blessed.. before he started to crawl or walk he could already slide down the stairs and he never hurt himself. My stepdad went to a fortune teller & she says there is a big spirit in our home which protects him . long story short i feel safe sleeping with my baby brother cause it never happens when im with him and that has to be spiritual.. maybe.

vietnamese123 said...

The very first time it happened to me was when i was sleeping on the couch downstairs which i dont usually do. Middle of the night i kind of felt a buzzy feeling coming and as it came closer it also got LOUDER! I was terrified didnt know what was happening and why i couldnt move. Pitch black i could only move my eyes left to right. My body felt like cement but thats not the scary part its the chills you get as its happening and you dont know when its gonna end. All i wanted to do was scream MUM and run to her room lol. The worst thing is.. as it was happening i could hear a deep voiced man laughing. Then finally it ended and i did run to my mums room didnt know what to say.. just slept it off hoping it would never happen again.

So that was my first experience. Didnt happen again until few years after when it started getting a lot more frequent sometimes even one after another which is the worst. Just as it ends you're dead tired and cant even keep your eyes open you go to sleep again, terrified, and a moment later you can feel it coming! As it comes i would force myself to WAKE UP but im so drowsy i dont stay awake for long it just keeps happening. Anyway i started getting use to it and it didnt freak me out as much but still pretty damn scary. When i went to vietnam i asked my little cousins & they explained to me its a LOT worse in vietnam? My cousin woke up to a girl strangling him & he didnt get out of it till someone poured water on him O.O

Some people tell me to put a knife your pillow, another trick thats worked was wiggling my toes! It works every time but its still pretty hard.. Only my toes would move but not even an inch though, i'd just keep wiggling them till i break free and my legs start moving. Another friend told me its the position i sleep in :S im not sure cause i never sleep on my back im always hugging something.

Anyway i do belive its something to do with spirits. This might sound stupid i experienced it a few weeks ago but something happened that usually doesnt. I saw the shadow of a face right in front of me. It freaked me out so hard from then on ive been sleeping with my baby brother. And it hasnt happened since. Tonight the first night i didnt sleep with him and funny enough it happened.. so i was in panic and i could just think of running into my mums room. Although i felt like i was already nearly at her room the next thing i knew was slamming my face into the wall beside my bed... no where near my mums room (i think because i dreamt i ran into her room but actually i barely even left the bed) =.= So yeah anyway i think my brother is blessed.. before he started to crawl or walk he could already slide down the stairs and he never hurt himself. My stepdad went to a fortune teller & she says there is a big spirit in our home which protects him . long story short i feel safe sleeping with my baby brother cause it never happens when im with him and that has to be spiritual.. maybe.

vietnamese123 said...

oops i thought it didnt work so i pressed it 3 times ><

Anonymous said...

Never happened to me but happened to my friend recently so I was looking into it. Seems like this happens all over the world to folks of all denominations so not sure why the beginning of this thread it was linked to religion and converting.

Also there actually is some research into this and apparently it can be triggered by stress and lack of sleep... things that are prevalent in Japan. Large intake of alcohol doesn't help either.

Interestingly enough I think visual's approach in bringing something familiar should work to minimize and/or stop this from happening as it will decrease anxiety of the episode occupying again (less stress) and allow for something to focus on if it actually does occur allowing the person to wake up fully quicker. This can be a token, an item, or even prayer... whatever brings a feeling of safety. In that way it's not the prayer itself that helps but the act of praying.

Anonymous said...

Ive had this before. Very similar circumstance as everybody else. Half asleep, 3am in morning, dark, felt alone and completely paralysed. Its scary because you can look left and right, and see your own body parts but you dont have access to them. Its as if your body parts weren't your own. Took me about 1 minute and a HUGE amount of will power to break free of the sleep paralysis.
Im not really the spiritual type, and thinking back it possibly could have something to do with spirituality since I had a very evil feeling. But it may just be because its not a normal thing.

I think its more likely to be a fault with the human body, the brain disconnects your body for safety while you sleep, and fails to reconnect the brain again since your half a sleep.

Yerko Tapia Flores said...

Hi, I'm fromm Chile South America, just found this looking for the meaning of Kanashibari, you may guess why I was looking for it..

I'm not so sure about who I can talk about this, because is so weird, and the weirdess thing is that is so weirdly common I can believe most people just don't talk about this..

my experiencess... pretty much like anyone else, but with a small difference...

I starte to wort on energy healing and came across something called reconnective healing, I recieved a "reconnection" and since then, every time I wake up in the middle of the night with this invisibles beings I can move and many times I have attack them, when tehy take me by the arm once a just took the hand of the invisible dude and sqeezed and the guy started to scream or some sort and all the other guys also started to scream like if they were the ones I have you know, attack, and they went away...

so since that time I've been some times doing nothing and sometimes when I get angry, attacking them... right now I sleep in a lttle room with my two younger brothers, once I woke up and those guys were next to my little brother I was so angry I took one fromm the neck but his body was like steel..
also while this experiences happens is like is not my physical body, just like when you have an OBE, I'm been actually praticing how to have OBE and there is a big relationship with sleep paralisys...

but that dudes, some of them are like so neutral you know, they look at you and some times like if they want to play, I have even listent chorus like angels singing a the sounds of birds and felt beautiful presence, but some times they are wreck, there is an specially tall, thin dark figure I hate, just seen it twice, once I just wope up and there was someone closing the door in the middle of the night, and that wasn't "non physicial", the door of the room... gosh I don't know what to think..

if this can help, I learned thanks to OBE and lucid dreaming to do a bunch of stuff in dreams like flying, make lightings attakcs and flames, and even make my body turn into needles and I have used that agains those dudes, and every time I hurt them, they go away and don't come back... but they came back some days ago and I don't know what to do...

and the last thing, have anyone kind of wake up with a women above him? Is just so weird, like every time I have a dream with a girl and we ended having sex (in the dream) I wake up and there is this invisible women on top of me.. what is she? like lillith or a succubu? or maybe a really naughty goddes??

well.. thanks for this post, is great... aslo, I love Japan, I would love to go there

saludos

Unknown said...

Good Morning
The first time i experienced kanishibari i was about 13 years old (im 21 now) i experienced it about 5 times until i finally told my mother (she is japanese) I
I said"mama, i have this wierd thing when i sleep and i cant move i cant blink i cant scream or talk i can only see what happens around me and i feel so scared i dont know whats wrong with me"
she thus replied "oh thats kanishibari, i used to have those when i was your age but they stopped at around 17)

So now i have a name for this, my culture names it kanishibari, science names it sleep paralysis...i think its evil.

This morning on october 12th 2013 i experienced it again the scariest i ever have. I woke up early in the morning but i couldnt move i couldnt move my head my arms my legs ...nothing..so i tried to say HELP! i couldnt even speak. I panicked and somehow as i calmed down from my panic i was able to move speak again in about 2 minutes...

Everytime i feel like closing my eyes i just see like dark cloudiness taking over my eyes. so i try to keep myself awake again. I was tired..i tried switching positions on my back on my sides on my stomach in a ball with my covers over my head...but everythime i closed my eyes i could feel it trying to take over me again...I then prayed and saidto myself ok im calm this is just sleep paralysis..this is nothing im good..im calm.....closed my eyes...same thing.....

i had to be up for an hour

i tried to think happy thoughts but the thoughts always turned to something evil/creepy like i was thinking hearts and pretty pink and a ntebook but the notebook suddenly ripped and there were pictures of people from the 1900's just looking creepy...solomn and sad...i dont know how i was finally able to sleep....



about my lifestyle...i didnt eat anything within 6 hours prior to going to bed, i am half japanese half black. I am 21...i do get really anxious sometimes...i dont feel like im stressed.....i am trying to believe in God but i live in an athiest family.i sleep about 5 hours a day....im a college student no job...i am somewhat spiritual...



i wouldlike to hear thre demographics on anyone else who experiences this..